Not what I wanted

It has come to the point that I really have to watch what I say, and to think before I actually say it. To prevent anyone to get hurt, to prevent anything wrong from happening. It's not what I was looking for.

Maybe I am just not ready for this. I am too caught up with myself(and everybody else) to really care about only one person. I keep telling myself that I just need time for myself but think again, how much time do I really need? Is it really only time that will cure this? Some effort needs to be put in as well. But what kind of effort? It's just so hard to decipher.

I've always thought that I was living for other people, and not for myself. I've been working for other people, not myself. Maybe that's why I don't do well in school. Cause I know that school is for myself. Is that really what I want?

Gah.